If I thought last week was bad, this week was a lot worse. I went into hospital Tuesday night for my portacath to be put in on Wednesday, which it did, in the afternoon. Local anaesthetic which was very odd, being talked to by my surgeon as he operated on me. Came back down after surgery onto the ward, lay down and had a drink and a rest. The nurses then came into me to give me my 2nd round of chemo and I threw up loads. So they started an intravenous anti sickness drive through my new portacath. I had my chemo and then went back home. That was a mistake. I threw up all Weds night and Thursday so I called my doctor who subsequently call the hospital. The ambulance tipped up, threw up in the back of that (so atractive)got to hospital, threw up some more so they fit me with a anti sickness line and glucose - they got 3 ltrs into me Thursday nigt. I also had a pain killer line put in through a drive in my arm - I look like a pin cushion. They then discovered that I had an allergic reaction to the dressing over my portacath, made me all sore and itchy, had a reaction to the second dressing then finally found one that didnt hurt. So I slept for about 20mins at a go Thurs night, had drips in all day Friday which made me feel so much better, they took them out Fri night and I slept for about 20 hours. They were talking about blood transfusions as my haemoglobin was on the low side but I was well enough in all areas. When they took my obs about midnight I just held my arm out, blood pressure good, heart rate down from 120 bpm to 98 which is still high for me but better. I woke up this morning and actually had the motivation to get up and dressed, pack all my bits and then my sister picked me up at noon! I am still very tired but drinking lots of peppermint tea, need to keep me hydrated. Apologies for any spelling mistakes but I cannot be bothered to correct them! I am going to rest now but thanks for all your support guys xxx

Have had a really horrible week, the side effects of the chemo have really kicked in. I started being sick Thursday of the week before last, before I had my chemo, had Tuesday and Wednesday after the chemo feeling much better then started being sick again on the Thursday. All day, through the night. If I wasn't being sick I was trying to sleep. I couldn't even keep water down. Luckily, my doctor is an absolute angel and dosed me up to the eyeballs so I wasn't being sick as much - I was still sick this morning.

It's being really tough this time, if I am being tested they are doing a bloody good job of it. It's hard to remain positive when you feel literally like death. My friends are keeping me going, I am sorry that I have not been able to keep you up to date but those of you who know me know that I go to ground when I am feeling this bad. I thought I better poke my nose out of my cave to let you know why and that I am getting on with it. I will be in touch more as and when I feel better. Don't worry too much, there is nothing you can do other than what you are doing already and keeping me in your thoughts. Love you for it.