Day 114

An extremely busy day at work, quite stressful but when I got out of the office, I was smiling. It was good to be thinking about something other than having chemo tomorrow. I was doing what I love best, helping people and keeping the office on track. I did not do it on my own, it is good being part of a team that works so well together. It was also lovely when a member of that team phoned me up on their rest day just to see how I was doing as we have not seen each other all week. Feeling extremely tired but satisfied that I have done a good days work.

Day 113

Another busy day, I have been awake since 4.30am today, no wonder I am feeling so tired. Not looking forward to Friday, the thought of having chemo is starting to make me feel sick. I had bloods taken again today in preparation, it does not hurt at all now. I want to know what my markers are doing, if they have come down again. Feeling very well in myself, been busy tidying again. He has taken all the rest of his belongings, my home is finally a safe haven. I am guilty of dancing around the kitchen this evening!

Day 112

Very tired today, but then I have been fairly manic trying to get my house back to normal. I must learn, as I have been told, not to pull too much on my reserves. Slept all the way through last night for about nine hours but could do with going to bed now! Looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, seeing my friends. I have had to pull on them quite a bit over the last couple of days - so glad I have them.

Day 110 & 111

I was so tired last night I forgot to write to you, sorry! I have had a very busy two days getting my house back to normal. I still have a long way to go but I am feeling driven, I want to stamp my mark on my house. I was thinking this morning about what the doctor said about the patient being the best way of telling of their progress. I have no pain in the liver area now at all, my breast is nowhere near as painful as it used to be, my arm is feeling better although I still cannot stretch it out straight and I am looking more and more like a fluffy duck in the hair department. I am feeling really well, if a little tired. At the moment, I am stripping wallpaper! I think I will sleep well tonight, make up for my lack of sleep over the last few days.

Day 109

I am feeling totally shattered at the moment but very happy - he has finally moved out! Feel like my life is moving in the right direction in both camps. I could not have done this without all the support I have received from my friends, they have all been fabulous and I know how lucky I am to have them. I made several phone calls to family and friends today and not one of them let me down. Thank you.

Day 108

Feeling tired again today but then I have been very busy packing boxes and running up and down stairs all day. I am a little concerned about my current condition - my 'monthly function' has been around for two weeks now - I am sure it has something to do with the fact that it came the same day as my last chemo and my body is just mixed up. That and the fact that my hormone levels have dropped. Might give the doctor a ring next week if it's not gone away. This time next week I will have had round five of my chemo. The weeks are whizzing past so quickly. I just want to get it over and done with now.

Day 107

Today is the Celtic New Year and it seems very apt. I feel as if I am starting again in many ways. I was driving to work this morning and everything looked so beautiful, the sun was shining through the autumn leaves and everything looked as if it had been washed, the colours were all so vivid. I feel as if I am looking at the world through new eyes and it is mind blowing. I sent a joke to my boss the other day, with the tag - this made me giggle. His response? Everything makes you giggle! I feel so happy, lucky and alive. I know I have still got a long way to go, but I am feeling so positive. I have just been in to see my friend who told me that someone is watching over me to tell her the good news- her husband is the one who predicted I would go through somehting major when I was 34. She let me have the most beautiful citrine necklace - citrine is believed to have healing properties and rids the body of toxins. I took one look at it and she said I had to have it. I can feel it hot on my chest now but the stone is cold. Thank you - you said today I have made your year with my news - now I have a radiant stone to go with my smile!