Up... and down again

Hit the low today, same way I did after I was diagnosed last year. I handle the news full on and throw myself at it with all guns blazing and then I have to come down again. I had to go to the doctors this morning to have bloods taken for my last Herceptin on Friday (spookily it will be number 13)and the poor nurse asked me how I was - fatal. I ended up sobbing my heart out with her giving me a cuddle. But then dried my eyes and put that smile back on my face.. if I start to scream now I suspect I could crack the world... so instead, I take a deep breath, smile because if you smile on the outside you smile on the inside and those positive endorphins just love whipping the butts of cancer cells! I am fine now. I realised I have not had that pain at all in my side since Sunday so it's not all bad. I want to know my tumour marker results from the bloods I had taken today, I want to know if they have increased again. I suspect they will have but at least now I know why, where it is and what I am doing about it. And that means I feel calmer.