Day 106

Paying the price for working a full day yesterday - I am shattered. Managed to work until lunchtime before having to go home and go to bed. I did not sleep very well last night either, woke up at half three and I was then awake until about half five, just managed to get cosy again and then alarm went off! Grrrr! Never the less, still feeling very happy, contented and full of life - I think I have an excess of life at the moment! Singing my heart out in the car at every opportunity and nothing is getting me down - not even grumpy ex-husbands!

Day 105

Managed a full day at work today! Feeling more and more like myself, my concentration levels are back up and I am feeling more in control. My arm is also not hurting as much as it used to, but still cannot straighten it out. Not feeling too tired. At present, am more fed up with soon to be ex-husband. Cannot wait to get rid of that malignant lump too! Sounds harsh but those of you who know me will know what he has put me through over the years. The light at the end of the tunnel is coming closer though, he is currently packing his things with the intention of moving out at the weekend. On a lighter note, a truly beautiful autumn day today, the leaves are all turning into their reds and golds, the sky was blue and it really does make me glad to be alive. I am looking forward to having my life back and sharing it with the people who matter the most to me.

Day 104

Really good day today, had my third free massage courtesy of the hospital - this time I saw beech leaves blowing in the wind and blue skies with fluffy white clouds - such a hippy chick! Loved being at work today with my friends. Also had a phone call from Karen, my oncology nurse. She has said that I don't have to take the steroids at all now as I am not being sick which is fabulous - they make me feel worse than the chemo does! And the icing on the cake? My doctor has said I will be starting on Herceptin on the 21st December. Why is that so good? A very significant day for me - it's the Winter Solstice. My life will be restarting on one of my favourite days of the year. In addition to that, I have been told that my Herceptin is going to be given to me with no limit on time - I can have it for as long as I need it. Fantastic news. I feel very protected and safe - someone is looking after me. Thank you.

Day 103

Another good day, drove back again today so arm feeling sore and tired, but apart from that, all well. Started to take my echinacea again today, have had a little break over the last couple of weeks. I have a bit of a cough but nothing to write home about, only to be expected for the time of year. I have had very late nights for me the last couple of nights but I am sat here now, not feeling tired at all. I think I will have an early night tonight though, don't want to kick the backside out of it.

Day 102

Feeling better and better every day - even my hair is making a firm come back! I can actually pull it at the back - and it does not come out! If it was not for my left arm hurting like a hurty thing - it feels like a chinese burn - I would be feeling totally tickety boo. But hey, this girl is not complaining. I must admit, I am really not looking forward to round five of chemo, simply because I know it is going to hurt and make me feel pants again, but in the same way, I want to get this over and done with now. I am feeling excited about things I want to do - I am looking forward to redecorating my house for example. I just want to get on with it!

Day 101

Generally feeling totally tickety boo - managed to drive for an hour and a half, go shopping for a good three hours and walk a really good stretch today without feeling too bad at all. Got a little breathless going up hill but nowhere near as bad as I was. My left arm is still really painful, driving that distance just about did it for me, but taking it easy now. I have had a really brilliant week, spent lots of time with the people I love and had the best news I have had in a long time. Still feeling very lucky and happy. I have a lot to be happy about at the moment. I had a good feel of the lump in my breast this morning, it's getting harder and harder to locate the edges and it's softer. I still have an ache in my side but that too is slowly going away, not aware of it as much. I am a very happy girl!

Day 100

I can't believe it has been one hundred days since I was diagnosed - it feels a lot longer. I am guilty of giggling in the night - could not get to sleep last night, I was swinging between giggling to myself to crying - emotional fall out. Feeling extremely lucky today. It was so good to be able to go into work and spread a little happiness and tell my friends the good news. Had a really good long chat with one of my friends, chatting about how this experience has changed my perspective on life. I am a different person now. I have had to learn patience for a start! I don't worry about trivial things anymore, I value everyone around me a lot more and I take genuine and total pleasure in the little things that are done for me and I feel so, so lucky. I am counting my blessings I suppose. I hope that I never take anything for granted again.