Day 74

I was chatting with my boss today (managed 5 hours today!) about how I am feeling, impending scan etc and I told him that there is a very high chance that I will get more of these secondaries (he enquired about radiotherapy but if they do that to my liver it would microwave it) and that realistically, my life expectancy has been greatly reduced and that I am never going to grow old. He looked me in the eye and said that getting old is overrated, who wants to end up dribbling in a bath chair. It would have been nice to have had a life before I got this but you know what - I have been given a chance that not everybody has. I have got a chance now to live my life to the full, to love as much as I can, to laugh, get out there and experience it because for me now, every day is a precious and a gift. Cancer gives you that gift. I could walk in front of a bus tomorrow and not have told my son how proud I am of him or how much I love him. Bitter sweet, this cancer lark. If I can see my son grow into the fine man I know he will become, I will be happy. How many of us walk through this life without living it until its too late. I have been given the chance to do that while I am still young enough to do it. And I am bloody well going to.