Last day before chemo starts, mixed feelings. Primarily, excited as I really want to start the treatment, stop the spread as quickly as possible. Relieved it is happening so quickly. Scared? Just a tiny bit. I have heard how horrible this is going to make me feel, but everybody reacts differently, I might be lucky and just feel tired, will just have to wait and see. If I expect to feel totally awful, anything else is a bonus. I think I am more scared about having the needle put into me than the actual treatment, but I know it's to make me feel better - ultimately. The thing that I suppose is upsetting me most is the prospect of losing my hair, but then it is quite scary now anyway so perhaps that is not such a bad thing. I am hopeful. I feel secure and protected and know that I can get through this, of course I can! I feel stronger now than I have done for so long and I can thank all the people who are supporting me for that. There are a few of you who have helped me more than you can ever know, who continually go above and beyond to put me first. I am a lucky girl. Thank you just does not say it enough. I love you so much. I feel so alive, I intend to stay that way.
I am going to try and update this blog every day while I can. I suspect there are going to be days when I am not able to, but I will be with you as much as I can.
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