Day Fifteen

Feeling anxious today, worrying about the operation. Only a week away now. Spoke to another girlfriend last night, she was upset on the phone. Told her I am going to do do my eyebrows with green biro. She says I should be like Gail Porter and wear my bald head with pride - I don't think I am that brave. It's one thing to have this illness but I need to remain as normal as I can for as long as I can. I am scared, and tearful at the moment. Don't know if it's the time of the month or what. I am upset as I am spending time with my son and I am realising what a wonderful, beautiful, funny person he is. He is so smart. I don't want to miss out on him. I love him so much. This is so unfair. I need to be strong, but it's so hard being brave all the time. Inside me there is a scared little girl who just wants to be told that everything will be alright and it can be fixed. Must keep my chin up.