Day Eighty Six

The ache in my side is hardly noticeable now, which is good. I spoke to my oncologist nurse today, told her about my worries. She said that just because I am feeling well, it does not mean the chemo is not working - I am just lucky. She says she knows of other people who have their chemo who are then at work like me, in the shops or whatever the next day. I told her that I think the lump is shrinking in my breast, that it's gone from a cough lozenge shape to a sucked cough lozenge shape - that made her laugh! She asked if it's feeling softer, which it is. It used to be bullet hard, which it isn't anymore. She went through my blood results again and she said that they are all looking normal and she also explained about Herceptin. Again, it will be intravenous, every three weeks like my chemo, but less damaging with no side effects. She knows of ladies who have their treatment and then go straight to work. It is also common for hair to grow back between sessions as my body recovers from the chemo. Feeling a lot less scared now. Also, if the chemo isn't working on my liver, which is what I am worried about, they will switch my drugs - there are loads of available chemo drugs at the moment and they may even introduce Herceptin straight away. I will be on that for at least a year, minimum, but they can keep you on that for years if necessary. The wonders of modern medicine! I don't like to think about the alternative, what I would be facing without Herceptin right now. I was listening to John Denver today - tell anyone and you're toast - and my favourite song, Annie's Song. There is a line in there 'Let me die in your arms'. Whoosh. Automatic tears. It's only to be expected, but the trick is not to let it get to you, just to keep on smiling and take each day, give it a good tickle and laugh! I am here, I am happy and I intend to stay that way.