Day Eighty Three

I have got an appointment through for my MRI - a week on Friday, the 19th October at 10 am - an hour before my 4th chemo! Talk about by the skin of your teeth! I am nervous now, half of me wants to have the scan, the other half is terrified that it's going to show the cancer has spread further. Really scared about that. Actually, scared does not cut it. I know my blood results are showing an improvement but this is going to be black and white evidence of how I am really doing. Had my second free massage this afternoon and I didn't really relax, although I was getting lovely images of autumn maple leaves, all reds and goldens. Beautiful. I still have this pain in my right side but I am pretty certain it's over my ribs. I am going to look at the pictures from my scan this time, I couldn't bring myself to look at the ones from my CT - seeing it was acknowledging it was there. Daft, isn't it. Ostrich psychology! I am really interested to see the inside of me!