Day 28

Had those cramps again last night, its cruel, the moment I get settled and comfortable my right ankle and foot goes into spasm. I woke up this morning feeling more lethargic. However, as the day has gone on, I have been surrounded by friends, I have laughed lots and I am so very much loved. I went to collect my son from his after school club this afternoon and as I sat in the car, I thought to myself, right now, I feel about as beautiful as I can. I don't mean physically!! Inside. And the sun broke free and warmed me. I cried. I so hope that I am not going through this for nothing. I hope there is something for me the other side. But in saying that.. I think this is more about the journey than the destination. I still feel incredibly blessed. Its true, you never see more beauty than when you are suffering and you never feel more alive than when you are close to death. The leaves are changing, these warm autumn days are my favourite time of year and I am happy.