A quick message for those of you who know me and who are reading this - what I am about to write I have to, because I need to get it off my chest. I need you to understand that it's only my body that is suffering, I am fine within myself. Yes I am having chemo so I am bound to be feeling rough but you have no need to worry about me, I am not worried about me.
I had to call the doctor last night, I got myself ready for bed and all was not right, I had been feeling stoned all day yesterday and thirsty and then I went to the loo and found I was bleeding as well. I called the doctor and he said that the tramedol may have irritated my stomach so he advised me to take only one. I was in pain last night because I was scared to take the pain killers but once I had taken some and spoken to him I was fine. My body is taking a real hammering at the moment, even my finger tips hurt, it actually hurts to send a text message. My ears are sensitive, as are my eyes. I have had some small pain in my liver area today but nowhere near as much as I have been having. I don't feel as stoned today as I did yesterday but holding a conversation is still an effort. I have some pain in my ankles and legs but it's bearable - I have not taken any pain killers today. My body is at war but my mind isnt, I am calm, still laughing and accepting of the fact that I have to go through this to get to the other side. I am not worried about me, I know this is just the side effects of the chemo, they are all known, I am just having more of them than I did last time - and last time I did not get rid of the cancer.
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